new shades

one time i had a dream that it was lampshade season again. you know what that means!

time to buy new lampshades to compensate for the shorter number of daylight hours. i bought a fancy new red one from "omnia omnibus" to match my latest favourite shirt. 

evolution

one time i had a dream that i could actually witness evolution occurring in the course of an afternoon of tea festivals and sugar highs.

my pet fish, bubbles, claimed this was impossible. he told me that it had to do with there not being enough glucose in the universe to sustain it.

preposterous monster

one time i had a dream that as part of his dj training, my pet fish, bubbles, had to ride on the back of a preposterous monster.

the preposterous didn't seem to mind, according to bubbles.

barnabas fornibus

one time i had a dream that barnabas fornibus, was accidentally connected to bubbles, my pet-fish, through faulty telephone wiring. 

barnabas was in camulodunum. he was trying to reach the frog farmer who was on a special mission to westover field. instead, he mistakenly reached bubbles in watling street. bubbles was selling counterfeit wrapping paper for a shell company on st. george's hill. 

barnabas said that this was too exciting for him. it almost reminded him that he wasn't dead yet. 

bubbles said that he would try to be more bland.  

new speakers

one time i had a dream that bubbles' sister, cinnabar backfisch, was still alive and bought a new set of speakers.

she used them to flatten buildings that annoyed her. she was easily annoyed. 

it was wireless.  

the faker

one time i had a dream that bubbles, my pet fish, was selling counterfeit wrapping paper with a shell company that he developed. 

he called the company "senape caulchino's designer goods."   

he also sold an occasional jar of hot mustard "round back, afterwards." he tried pushing fake bottles of winnie's wasabi too -which is of a poor quality to begin with, so the fake had to be awful. 

i ended up filing a lawsuit against him for trademark violations and stuff like that.