bonneteau

one time i had a dream that i discovered the manifesto of the tree elves. they felt that they did not receive adequate attention.

my pet-fish, bubbles, told them that they should go on strike. they said they weren't sure how to do that. bubbles told them that since the weather was only a social construction, they should change it.

they laughed about that. they tried to explain the weather to bubbles by playing three card monte, or as they called it, find the lady. he had to guess what card they were thinking off, and where it was located.

they shuffled the 3 cards around on their little table. bubbles said that they were thinking of the ace of spades, and he pointed at one of the cards. the dealer elf turned it over, and it was the ace of spades.

all of the elves started giggling again. the dealer elf said very good, but he was thinking of the joker card, and that it was in my shirt pocket. i checked my pocket and, amazingly, it was. i didn't even know it. at first, bubbles accused me of being a shill, but when he read my body language, he could tell i was surprised.

the elves had a good laugh at bubbles's expense, but they refused to take his money. bubbles was especially annoyed by that refusal, and tried to get them to go three out of five. they said the game was over, and that if this was canada, they could get put in jail even just for playing for fun.

do you have a staring problem?

one time i had a dream that couldn't get the red elves to stop staring at me.

it was vachement annoying.

bubbles, my pet fish, said that these sort of luminous events assemble and dissipate, especially in thunderstorms, and it is best to not let them disturb me.

i told him that i was trying to avoid maple trees, because that's where they like to congregate.

bubbles said that i was a paranoid little freak.

grandmother moon

one time i had a dream that the moon was my grandmother.

my pet fish bubbles said that she controls the tides.

the space migration

one time i had a dream that a woman president of the united states personally wrote the calculations for the space migration 50 years before it went into effect.

bubbles said that they call it "the interstellar railroad".

i told him that it's more like a maglev than a railroad. 

the serial killer

one time i had a dream that there was a serial killer on the loose.

the original musician

one time i had a dream that i was listening to a series of lectures on tape about the origins of music. 

bubbles said that they were actually mp3 podcasts. 

i responded that music was originally recorded on cassette tapes.   

the student

one time i had a dream that i was back in school. it was exam season and all the halls were filled with rows of chairs and desks. the students were in a furry of cramming, and study notes were being exchanged with the frenzy of the stock market trading floor. people were going wild.

it wasn't a nightmare, but it wasn't fun either. i had to prep for my exam in italian, but i couldn't remember any of the words. i kept looking at my dante, but nothing legible appeared on the page. it seemed like random syllables that vaguely resembled words.

when i sat to write the exam, i discovered that it was a test about mustard.

 i aced it, of course.