the earthquake

one time i had a dream that my body odor was so powerful that it caused an earthquake.

i had been hiking in the adirondacks the week before the quake. i climbed several mountains, but did not complete my goal of climbing all 46 of them. on my way down mount marcy, i stopped for a rest. everybody was eating chocolate fudge at the john's brook lodge.

when i got to port henry, bubbles said that i stunk. we were going to have lunch together but he said the smell was so offensive that he didn't want to bother seeing me. he was going to vist the lake monster, champ, at the court of poseiden. the sea god has a summer residence in lake champlain, i guess. while i was at ticonderoga, i decided to climb mount defiance. when i got to the top, all of the people having lunch under the pavilion threw me nasty looks and got in their cars and drove off. it was a delicious view from the top. it was green and yellow.

apparently, according to bubbles, the smell of my body odor wafted down the hill into lake champlain. it was carried underwater to the court of poseidon. when the court attendants smelled my body odor everyone started to feel nauseous. poseidon, himself, started to cough and thought he was going to throw up, because i smelled so bad. he got very angry and caused an earthquake by throwing his trident. the trident was about the size of a fork. it wasn't a huge earthquake, but enough to let everyone know i smelled.

when i got home, i took a shower. bubbles told me that poseidon had given him a message to deliver to me. it said when i wash up, i'd better use soap.