the boat rude

one time i had a dream that i was stuck on a ferry with one of the world's most annoying people: brother filbert from the monastery.

new york had gone to war with vermont. the green mountain state had declared its independence from the united states at a convention in st. albans.  new york had, since colonial times, refused to  completely acknowledge the territorial claims of their neighbours to the east. the empire state kept secret plans for military operations against vermont. in the ny state house members of the legislature made wild speeches about reclaiming their lost counties to the east. they adopted a measure that declared since the vermont government had committed treason, the land reverted to its former status as part of albany county. the green mountaineers responded by declaring the revival of the vermont republic.

the vermontese decided to mint their own "vermont coppers" to replace the penny in their country and established alternative post offices and delivery services in the republic. the postal department of vermont had their own uniforms that were grey with green piping.

after vermont declared renewed independnce, new york responded by mobilizing troops to undertake an armed assault. vermont, with a batalion of volunteers, was able to launch a stealth attack from bennington after the announcement of hostilities. the vermontese moved westward to capture hoosick falls by nightfall (where they looted many paintings by grandma moses). the next day the soldiers of the vermont republic attempted to take the capital city of new york. they planned to arrest the governor and set fire to the state house. they met resistance from a platoon of batavi from albany who rode their swimming horses across the hudson river. the batavi prevented the vermontese troops from moving their assault further westward. the vermontese then hunkered down for a siege of troy.

new york's strategy was threefold. firstly, a fleet from the state navy would leave cumberland bay, some patroling the islands but the larger force moving eastward to bombard burlington, sack colchester -- reducing the city to ashes, sail up the the winooski river with a flotilla of destroyers to montpellier, release the new york marines, and capture the state government. secondly, a division of auxillaries would leave ft wm henry and capture the garrison at rutland. thirdly, a field army would depart from rousses point moving southward to st alban's with assistance from the north country airforce who would also be dropping paratroopers over the line at st. johnsbury.

things hadn't gone so well for the new yorkers because they vermontese had been very clever in defending their homeland including using burning maple syrup to block the roads.

fearing a vermontese assault on ft ticonderoga, the new york government blew up  the crown point bridge that linked chimney point with fort st. frederick.

i had a mustard job to do for a rich lady in shelburne. there was a war going on, but apparently for the upper classes this doesn't matter, they must have their proper condiments. anyway, the way to get across the lake was a special ferry. when i got onboard i saw filbert, but he was yaking on his mobile phone a little bit too loudly.

one man asked him not to speak so loudly and filbert told him to shut up. then another lady asked him why he was being so loud and he told her that she didn't need to know. finally, one of the soldiers on the boat told him he needed to stop being so loud because it was a security risk. filbert told him he didn't know what he was talking about. with that the soldier walked over to filbert, grabbed him by the belt, and threw him into the lake.

he had to swim to shore.  my pet-fish, bubbles, said that it was a good thing that filbert was wearing a life jacket because he didn't really want to save him.

bubbles also said that, technically, filbert's belt was called a cincture. actually, according to bubbles, it belonged to the monastery not the monk.