the ring

one time i had a dream that bubbles, my pet-fish, swallowed a lady's ring. she wanted it back.

it was ms. rathangan who lived on our road in woodstock. she was an expert on falling stars. one afternoon, in late march, bubbles asked her if she wanted to borrow his pruning shears. she said no thank you, but asked if he'd like to see her ring.

bubbles said, he'd be very happy to have a look. the ring was made of tin. she said it came from the wall of her house where she grew up. the house was very old and near the train station. the old steam trains used to spew out sparks from their smoke stacks. the sparks would sometimes land on a house and cause a fire. ms. rathangan said that a hundred years ago, one of the sparks landed on the post office roof, and the place burned down. they built a new brick post office, but the rest of the town put up corrugated tin plates on the outside walls and rooves of their homes.

when they renovated their house her father took down the tin plates, because the train no longer ran on steam, and had them made into a ring. when she left town her father gave her the ring so she would never be far from home.

while bubbles was admiring the craftsmanship, suddenly, the ring slipped off and accidentally sunk into his mouth. he couldn't help swallowing it, because it happened so fast, and he was swimming.

ms. rathangan became very angry. she shouted at him that he was a clumsy idiot. he said it wasn't his fault, and that he doesn't control gravity. she said she should cut him open, get her ring, and serve him for dinner. bubbles called her a wild cannibal who placed great value on worthless shining trinkets.

ms. rathangan sighed. then she composed herself and asked him very quietly and calmly if there was a way they could reach down his throat and pull it out. he suggested she could borrow uncle cuthred's old spear that he brought back from the wars. it was very dull, and if bent properly at the end, maybe they could ("pardon the expression" bubbles said) fish it out.

she said that that didn't seem like a good idea. she asked if pepper made him sneeze. he said sometimes, and it was worth a try. they went to my mustard shop and pulled out a jar of dried pepper. she put some at his nose and he inhaled. bubbles sneezed and flew 5 feet up in the air. however, the ring didn't come out.

bubbles said that one time he had tried to smoke uncle edward's pipe and it made him vomit. he suggested that maybe he could have a smoke and see what happened. so they took down a ceremonial dutch pipe from the mantle piece of one of the fireplaces and borrowed some tobacco from one of the neighbors. ms. rathangan lit up the pipe and bubbles started to smoke.

he started to cough and cough. then, he got more accustomed to the smoke. after a while he started to get bugged out eyes and his face went very pale.

"ick, i don't feel so well, meggers." he said. then he started to retch. he puked up the ring and most of his lunch which had been cheese and broccoli soup. ms. rathangan used the pruning shears to pick up the ring and washed it off on the spigot on the side of the house. then, she put it in her pocket.

bubbles apologized about the whole incident and said that at least she got her ring back. she giggled and said it definitely added a deeper history to the story of the ring. after that, bubbles and she became very close associates of a certain sort.