the grand hat

 

 

one time i had a dream that it was required to wear a hat again. i made a visit to the most famous hat maker in albany to buy one.

for some reason hats became mandatory. i decided that the best hat to wear would be a beret imported from france. when i looked up the conversion rate from dollars to francs and the shipping costs, i realized it was not going to be an easy importation.

instead, i figured i would buy a hat from the greatest hat maker in all of new york. he had a shop in albany down the street from the wolfnoth's mustard emporium. so one thursday i bought a fantastic trilby and a continental cocked hat.

the shop had photos of all the famous and powerful people who bought their hats there over the years. these included big wigs like teddy rooosevelt, the cadre of the local glove-maker's union, the last 4 mayors of albany, the orthodox patriarch of schenectady, a nobel prize winning author, the chief rabbi of niskayuna, the lady from the music station, numerous state senators, the inventor of potato chips, the great liberator, a famous shortstop, herman melville, the director of the museum of science fiction, and most impressively: lord cornbury in a nice bonnet.

all of the fashionable people enjoyed my chapeaux. it was very macaroni.