beardo the fantastic

 

 

one time i had a dream that the lizard preacher and the frog farmer had a discussion with beardo the fantastic about his career as a cabinet maker.

he said that he'd enter people's houses and build new cabinets in their kitchen even if they didn't want them. sometimes, they'd decide they liked them and would actually pay him. it was easier than trying to make appointments.

he told the frog farmer he should build a cave in his kitchen to keep his produce organic. beardo also told the lizard preacher it was important to have a private branch exchange. the lizard preacher said he didn't need one but beardo tried to install it anyway.

the lizard preacher was pretty sure that beardo didn't know what he was doing, but let beardo continue. later that afternoon the lizard preacher decided to place a phone call to the prime minister. the phone system didn't seem to work at all. instead he got connected to dairy farm down in victoria.

the dairy farmer was in his milking parlor. he didn't mind being interrupted from his milking because he was the sort of fellow who enjoyed the unexpected. but, when he found out that it was the lizard preacher he was annoyed. he told the lizard preacher beardo was always installing faulty phone booths in his cabinets. he hopped up and down and called beardo a fraud.

the lizard preacher had no other course to follow but to dismiss beardo the fantastic. he hired a man name otto to sort out the phone difficulties. the only problem was that otto was especially afeared of wires. otto never actually touched or talked on the phones because he was terrified of being electrocuted.

the lizard preacher cautioned him that he had nothing to fear - all is illusion. otto told him you can't make a triple dismissal every game.