one time, i had a dream that i was a witness to a crime, and that i had to be interrogated by the chief of police - even though he knew i was innocent.
i got to sit in the police room with the two way mirrors. they got the under-commissioner to help the chief by playing tiggy-chasey and shove-groate.
they asked me why i was at the bank that day, since most people do their banking via telephone. i told them i needed to buy a roll of quarters to use in the parking-meters. the under-commisioner said this was a lie, because the parking-meters only take dimes, nickles. and pennies. i responded that they take quarters and liberty dollars.
the under-commissioner jumped up out of his seat! he shouted "what do you know about lady liberty?" i must have looked shocked because he immediately pressed "you're part of the big heist, aren't you? this proves it." the chief tried to calm him down. he rubbed him, gently, on the back, and handed him a coffee. the under-commissioner sat back down.
then, it was the chief's turn. he was very calm, and relaxed, like this was a routine question. in fact, he acted like he didn't care at all, since they had already busted the thieves. the chief said to me "we're concerned with the theft of copper. you didn't buy any pennies that day? why didn't you you need copper? that's what we want to know."
i told him that the only coppers i knew were the two in front of me. the under-commissioner smashed his fist down on the table, and all of the coins got re-arranged.
when i had relieved them of all their pocket-change at shove-groate, they decided to write up an affidavit for me to sign, indicating that i could certify, as an eye-witness, that the "dirtbags" in question were the robbers.
the under-commissioner told me he'd better not find my car parked at an expired meter or he would personally write me a ticket. i told him, that thanks to him, that wouldn't be a problem. he leered at me angrily, and flared his nostrils, but the chief laughed. i think the under-commissioner was unhappy about loosing at shove-groate, even though he beat both me and the chief at tiggey-chasey.
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