six mustards that i made

one time i had a dream that my mustards were accepted by the academy of condiments in france. it was great to finally receive formal recognition for something that i've worked so hard at, and for which i give such tremendous passion.

i got to make a speech. this is what i said:

if the planet, maybe even the galaxy, were to adopt the respectfulness of mustard and its lessons for the world, we'd be in a happier place. the recognition of every uniqueness would improve things, because of understanding, and they could give up on their fear.

mustard mixes have the ability to inspire people to transform, and absorb the progress that things need. that's why i feel so strongly about flavor being artistry, and maybe like rivulets that could gratify, people wouldn't have to be so stringent about accepting the things that debilitate, or like devitalize. that's why my mustards are 100 percent mixed and edible.

and there are a lot of ways of doing that, which is why mustard has so much to offer us. when mustard starts out as a plant it doesn't have these expectations that people carry with them, all these pre-conceived notions about how other people need to live their life or anything. it's just a tree growing in a garden, with birds and things flying around. people think, instead, there are a bunch of promises made to them, maybe sometimes people do make them promises that don't come true.

so that is why mustard has to come into things, to enliven and make free flavors that people were either afraid to try, or didn't have the ability to imagine something that's authentic to achieve. that's why i mix mustard. for all of the people who can't. either because they don't have the time, or the ability, or the tools, or the money, or whatever. i do it for the people that don't have.

you have to move things to the extreme to appreciate how what seems ordinary really is a hidden form of amazing that we just haven't discovered yet. and that's why it's really important that people have identities.

the academy accepted my mustards, and we had a reception. it was very grateful.

my pet fish, bubbles, said mustard mixing is vapid. i told him it takes longer than he thinks, and that's why it's visionary.